Festive season = good news =love in the air???

As the year is approaching to an end, the festive mood has begin to affect the people around me.

In this happy time of the year, love has also started to bloom and affect all my friends around me.

Love is in the air!!!

Recently, friends around me have either become attached or they have found the person that they think is special to them. I am not an exception however I am not that optimistic about the possibilities between me and my special guy.

The bad point of having friends that are attached: it is harder to ask either of them out since they have totally become like those inseparable twins on the news ( More like mission impossible). They can't live without each other for a single second. But nonetheless, I am happy for them but that would mean I would be left alone for more of the time, which is exactly what I don't need at this point in time. ( I am on a holiday now doing like nothing, seriously nothing. Coz those who know me should know that I wanted to do something but that someone leave me no chance to do anything.)

Firstly, he had yet to know how i feel about him (all my friends are telling me that if I don't tell, he won't know)

Secondly, he is so passive and shy. (I want to know him more but due to his shy nature, it is like really really hard, tough and difficult)

Thirdly, I am always the one asking him out. (I can't help but wonder if he like me anot, coz if he did then i suppose he would at least ask me out for once?)

Fourth,, I can't communicate with him in any form of virtual way!!! ( Yes, you must be wondering, but no: He does not used MSN!!! He goes on facebook but he turns the chat option off!!! I can only call him!!! And ya he must be wondering why do i always call to ask him about cooking!!! That is the only thing that i can think off that would not be awkward to talk about since I am super duper nervous when I call him on phone. HAIZ!!!)

Last but not the least since the list is always increasing everytime i tried to ask him out, He is always BUSY and occupied with things!!! (I tried my best to create chances but since due to his always full schedule, there is just no way and nothing I can do. What more do you expect me to do???!!!)So he would reply no and he can't make it because he is busy. But hey there, I know you are BUSY but could you at least just squeeze out sometime for me??? So all in all, all this point to the fact that he is not INTERESTED in me!!! Why did I even need to take so long to figure out this??? Such a sad fact.

But hope is not lose, some good news has also come into picture, I have just heard from my other friends in Singapore that 2 pair of my married friends are expecting their first child. That is like wow, at least there are still some good news appearing in my life.

Well, hopefully that is not the last piece of good news in this year, result is coming out on 2nd of Dec, I am expecting a first class honours for my result based on the average marks that were released earlier on however I will also be happy if I got a second upper class.

After all, I am not such a ambition person and I know that i do deserve a second upper when I compare my effort with my other friends. But then again, it is hard to compare when all of us have a different research topic :p.

Regardless, I still have this tiny little hope in me, thinking that when i confess to him, he can respond back in a positively way if not, I still wish that we can still be friend after that. ( And please stop asking me to confess to him fast coz it take alot of courage to do that, please let me be more sure of things before I do something stupid to jeopardize the relationship between me and him)

美好的记忆

十一月二十一日，那是个炎热的一天，也是特别难忘的一天。

当太阳慢慢的落下，月儿的微笑悄悄的挂在漆黑的天空中，徐徐的晚风仿佛像是感染到我愉快的心情，把周围的一切都从潮湿又闷热的环境中解放，把闷闷的感觉一扫而空。

我像是踏在云端上，脚步轻快的走向我与他相约的地方。

这是我与他第一次单独的出去（应该不能定义为约会），我们约好一起吃晚餐然后看电影。对他而言这或许只是朋友之间吃饭，聚在一起聊天罢了，与以往一样并无任何不同。但对我而言那是特别的一夜。我享受着与他相处的每一分每一秒，就连我们彼此沉默时，那感觉也与众不同。

我的内心深切的期盼他能够知道我对他的想法，但我知道我可能就要离开此地，我与他之间有太多的障碍与距离，一切都宛如雾里看花，什么都不是真的。

虽然已经这样了，但我与他之间美好的回忆，我会好好的珍惜，好好的埋藏在我心里的最深处。盼望当时间过去，我与他还能够时常相约出去，如果我还在这里。。。

思绪

我踏出了第一步，可不知他晓不晓得。

我已从高昂的情绪中恢复过来，此时此刻想着顺其自然但又觉得似乎能够做些什么。。。

我与他之间是否能有我们的一天？

我并不敢奢望有这么一天因为我与他的距离是那么的遥远。。。

我不知他是怎么想但他对于我是特别的。。。

与他谈天是愉快，开心，舒服的。。。

整夜翻来覆去，望着窗外天空渐渐亮了，脑袋里的思绪满满的都是他。。。

他不知所措，腼腆，安静，就连傻傻的样子都在我的脑海里浮现，我忍不住微笑。。。

我想就只当朋友吧，不要强求，时间会证明一切吧。。。

一时感触

在想与不想，
做与不做之间，
总是不知如何取舍。

我该往何处去又该往何处走？

是该跟着心里所愿又或者是根据理智？

我迷惘，彷徨又无措。。。

到底什么是对什么是错，界限已不再那么清楚。。。

是否有个人能告诉我？

是否存在着一个方程式让我跟着做？

好让我的心不再那么乱。。。