Friday, February 12, 2010
Late night thoughts
I guess it is true when people say that distances makes the heart grown fonder. But I think that it not only apply to relationship between couple it also applies to relationship between family and friends as well. I think it is just human nature that we tend to treasure things more when they are not by our sides...
Monday, February 1, 2010
在此宣誓
我为人随和不代表我没脾气!!!
我为人处处谦让不代表我是错而你是对的!!!
我不跟你计较并不代表你可以践踏我的自尊心!!!
我会有以上的待人处事方法只因我把你当朋友!!!
但当你踩过了朋友的那条界线也就是我们的友谊结束的时候!!!
到那时我绝对会轻挥着我的手，潇洒的对你说声：“拜拜，希望我们永远不要再见了!!!"
我也绝对不会后悔做出这个决定，只因当你把我的自尊心踩在你脚下时我已心死。。。
此刻你在我心中已比路人甲还不如，只是隐形的存在，在我心中毫无分量。。。
我为人处处谦让不代表我是错而你是对的!!!
我不跟你计较并不代表你可以践踏我的自尊心!!!
我会有以上的待人处事方法只因我把你当朋友!!!
但当你踩过了朋友的那条界线也就是我们的友谊结束的时候!!!
到那时我绝对会轻挥着我的手，潇洒的对你说声：“拜拜，希望我们永远不要再见了!!!"
我也绝对不会后悔做出这个决定，只因当你把我的自尊心踩在你脚下时我已心死。。。
此刻你在我心中已比路人甲还不如，只是隐形的存在，在我心中毫无分量。。。
Thursday, January 28, 2010
曾经的我们
与专科的朋友在夜里通话，说起当时的我们，不免感叹我们改变真多。。。
先不论好与坏，在成长与蜕变的过程中，以往的纯真似乎也跟着消失了。。。
我们再也回不到过去的自己，当时心怀的梦想也因为长大了而渐渐遗忘。。。
纵然知道那是件多可悲的事但现实生活的压力早已把那仅存的梦埋藏在心底的最深处，遗忘在某一个角落，期待能有实现的一天。。。
我已渐渐有能力实现梦想但我再也已不是当时那个傻傻，想法幼稚但天真可爱的小女孩。。。似乎有些东西已不一样了。。。
心里总有种说不上来的感觉。。。
总觉得当时的自己虽然没有物质上的享受但心里却很满足。。。
反观现在的自己总希望从朋友那里得到些什么来填补心里的空虚，寂寞与不安。。。
多希望能找回失去的纯真但那是不可能的了。。。
因为那已不是属于我的专利了。。。
先不论好与坏，在成长与蜕变的过程中，以往的纯真似乎也跟着消失了。。。
我们再也回不到过去的自己，当时心怀的梦想也因为长大了而渐渐遗忘。。。
纵然知道那是件多可悲的事但现实生活的压力早已把那仅存的梦埋藏在心底的最深处，遗忘在某一个角落，期待能有实现的一天。。。
我已渐渐有能力实现梦想但我再也已不是当时那个傻傻，想法幼稚但天真可爱的小女孩。。。似乎有些东西已不一样了。。。
心里总有种说不上来的感觉。。。
总觉得当时的自己虽然没有物质上的享受但心里却很满足。。。
反观现在的自己总希望从朋友那里得到些什么来填补心里的空虚，寂寞与不安。。。
多希望能找回失去的纯真但那是不可能的了。。。
因为那已不是属于我的专利了。。。
Saturday, January 23, 2010
From the past to the present
I often wonder what make me who I am today, for the better or for the worst...
I realised that everything in the past shape me for who I am now, but there are a few important transition point that had a huge impact on me that create the present me.
To name a few:
I met my best friend in my secondary school days along with one good friend as well. They been through alot with me and the bond between us could not be describe by mere words. They have been by my side for better or for worst, regardless of the situation although there are ups and downs along the way. However, it is precisely the ups and downs that strengthen our bonds and leads us down the life journey and we still remain the same as it was 10 years ago. When I looked back, i couldn't imagine how my life would be without them.
My poly days could be describe as a disaster, outcast, boycott, isolated would be the right word to describe my status in the school. Just when I thought that I have found a good friend there, I got backstab by her (or maybe that is just how I see it), I started to lost hope in friendship and along the way a part of me was lost forever as well.
I was lucky thou, in my first full time job, I met another important person who would shape alot of my idealogy in life and society. I would never be the same person I am today without her. She taught me alot of stuff with regard to my job and most importantly how to survive out there in the world. She might be nagging, angry and pull a black face at me but I realised that it is because she cares about me.
Throughout my life till now, I realised that as people grow, they tend to care less and lesser, simply because trust and bonding between people had changed, we could no longer be as simple as we are in the past. Reality, desire, lust, greed and alot of inner emotions had forced us to become more selfish and self centered. All the actions that we have done is simply to achieve our final goal and in the process it might mean making use of each other, putting other people down. But what she had done for me could not be describe by words, she taught me to grow up and look at the world from other views. She taught me the ways to protect myself when I am out there in the cruel and judgemental world. Maybe it might not be sufficient for me since I still feel hurt by the reality sometimes but she is the one that prepare me mentally. I might have fallen down but what she taught me encourage me to stand up again to face the world and given me the courage to move on.
The more recent person that I think have changed me for who I am now is a friend of a friend. All the time that I chat with him, I would always think to myself: "That is something that has never ever cross my mind." Looking back for the past 2 months that I have spend with him, I realised that his words regardless of good or bad give me another opportunity to examine the way that I want to live my life. His words often enlighten me in a way that I did not expect, it often set me into thinking more and more about life, about of alot of other stuff as well. He also help me made up a decision that I think would changed my life forever. Maybe it is fate or destiny, that problem had troubled me for months, I have seek numerous advice from alot of my friends but none could push me to make up my mind as he did. All I could say is that for better or for worst, no matter where my decision leads me to, I would have no regret making this decision for I have live the life that my heart desire.
I am grateful up till now to be able to meet all these people in my life, if there is really a unknown force that push these people to meet me, I would give a million thanks to whoever or whatever that is behind it. I can't write it out in words to stress the importance and significance that these people had in my life. Don't be upset too my friends if I did not mention you in these entry as all of you matter as much to me as the people before.
I love all of you my friends and do take care so that it would come one day where we could sit down and chat and simply being our true self.
I realised that everything in the past shape me for who I am now, but there are a few important transition point that had a huge impact on me that create the present me.
To name a few:
I met my best friend in my secondary school days along with one good friend as well. They been through alot with me and the bond between us could not be describe by mere words. They have been by my side for better or for worst, regardless of the situation although there are ups and downs along the way. However, it is precisely the ups and downs that strengthen our bonds and leads us down the life journey and we still remain the same as it was 10 years ago. When I looked back, i couldn't imagine how my life would be without them.
My poly days could be describe as a disaster, outcast, boycott, isolated would be the right word to describe my status in the school. Just when I thought that I have found a good friend there, I got backstab by her (or maybe that is just how I see it), I started to lost hope in friendship and along the way a part of me was lost forever as well.
I was lucky thou, in my first full time job, I met another important person who would shape alot of my idealogy in life and society. I would never be the same person I am today without her. She taught me alot of stuff with regard to my job and most importantly how to survive out there in the world. She might be nagging, angry and pull a black face at me but I realised that it is because she cares about me.
Throughout my life till now, I realised that as people grow, they tend to care less and lesser, simply because trust and bonding between people had changed, we could no longer be as simple as we are in the past. Reality, desire, lust, greed and alot of inner emotions had forced us to become more selfish and self centered. All the actions that we have done is simply to achieve our final goal and in the process it might mean making use of each other, putting other people down. But what she had done for me could not be describe by words, she taught me to grow up and look at the world from other views. She taught me the ways to protect myself when I am out there in the cruel and judgemental world. Maybe it might not be sufficient for me since I still feel hurt by the reality sometimes but she is the one that prepare me mentally. I might have fallen down but what she taught me encourage me to stand up again to face the world and given me the courage to move on.
The more recent person that I think have changed me for who I am now is a friend of a friend. All the time that I chat with him, I would always think to myself: "That is something that has never ever cross my mind." Looking back for the past 2 months that I have spend with him, I realised that his words regardless of good or bad give me another opportunity to examine the way that I want to live my life. His words often enlighten me in a way that I did not expect, it often set me into thinking more and more about life, about of alot of other stuff as well. He also help me made up a decision that I think would changed my life forever. Maybe it is fate or destiny, that problem had troubled me for months, I have seek numerous advice from alot of my friends but none could push me to make up my mind as he did. All I could say is that for better or for worst, no matter where my decision leads me to, I would have no regret making this decision for I have live the life that my heart desire.
I am grateful up till now to be able to meet all these people in my life, if there is really a unknown force that push these people to meet me, I would give a million thanks to whoever or whatever that is behind it. I can't write it out in words to stress the importance and significance that these people had in my life. Don't be upset too my friends if I did not mention you in these entry as all of you matter as much to me as the people before.
I love all of you my friends and do take care so that it would come one day where we could sit down and chat and simply being our true self.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
海绵芒果慕司蛋糕
我已经慢慢的从我对他的眷念中走出来。但直到了今天我才发现，我就像海绵蛋糕而他就像芒果慕司，吃起来才发现是那么的不协调。
那不协调感来自于我们对事情有截然不同的看法，想法与做法。就像网上有千百种海绵芒果慕司蛋糕的食谱，各花入各眼一样，并不是所有的食谱都是自己喜欢的，也不是所有的海绵蛋糕食谱就能与任何芒果慕司配搭的。。。
简单的道理往往都是最难领悟的。。。
那不协调感来自于我们对事情有截然不同的看法，想法与做法。就像网上有千百种海绵芒果慕司蛋糕的食谱，各花入各眼一样，并不是所有的食谱都是自己喜欢的，也不是所有的海绵蛋糕食谱就能与任何芒果慕司配搭的。。。
简单的道理往往都是最难领悟的。。。
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Summary of 2009
As 2009 came to an end, it is time to summarise what have been done in that year and have a proper closure to it. With the start of a brand new day in 2010, I can't help but hope that this would be a smooth and good year for me.
My 2009 life chapter had ended with a first class honours, graduation=jobless, closure of my love life (no one in my life yet), clueless about how I want my life to be etc...
However, a new chapter has begun for my 2010 life chapter as well, I am no longer bother with my love life even though I am still searching for one but I believe that what is mean to be will be. I have moved on to shift my focus more on finding a job and keeping one if I find it. This would be the year that I wanted to be more true to myself and care less about what other people think of me. I will like to start everything afresh from today onwards, moving closer to my goals step by step, I know that the path would not be smooth going but I shall be determined and perseverance towards my goals.
My 2009 life chapter had ended with a first class honours, graduation=jobless, closure of my love life (no one in my life yet), clueless about how I want my life to be etc...
However, a new chapter has begun for my 2010 life chapter as well, I am no longer bother with my love life even though I am still searching for one but I believe that what is mean to be will be. I have moved on to shift my focus more on finding a job and keeping one if I find it. This would be the year that I wanted to be more true to myself and care less about what other people think of me. I will like to start everything afresh from today onwards, moving closer to my goals step by step, I know that the path would not be smooth going but I shall be determined and perseverance towards my goals.
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