My other side of life

To get to know better what I have been doing please go to this other blog address:

http://ms-newbie-adventure.blogspot.com/

Why love never last?

I was reading my old blog post a couple of days before and I started to have some thoughts about all the stuffs I wrote last year especially when I was being very emotional (refer especially to this particular post "Festive season = good news =love in the air???").

A lot of things have changed in the couple of months that had passed since I wrote that article. What is more irony is that most of the couples that I have mentioned in the post had separated and became single again. What shocked me the most is that even friends that had been together for quite some years had broken up too...

This makes me actually wonder about a lot of things in life. I have been given comments by some friends around me saying that I am been too idealistic in my thinking with regards to love relationship between couples. Well, I have to admit that they were right sometime, coz in a relationship it depend on both hands to clap. It would have never work out if one of the party does not want to be involve in it. Well, when more than one person is involved in anything, the situation become complicated coz human "heart" is the hardest thing to predict. It always changes from time to time.

Despite all the comments from my friends, being a typical sagi ( pretty much that is my excuse :p)I still can't help but to think why love never last even when it happened on friends that you have least expected. It take two person to get together but it takes one to destroy the relationship.

I often wonder that if love can be visualize and quantify like any other things in a scientific way would things still happened the way they did? Well, obviously this question could not be answered since it would never happened. Perhaps, as I am who I am, despite knowing the limitations and restrictions in life, I would still constantly challenge the impossible ( in term of ideology and perspective ) and question those surrounding me. This is not because that I don't know the obvious answer but that sometime there is more to a certain thing then the obvious answer. I understand that this would be a life long debate, however I do hoped that it would be a interesting one.

Don't be surprise that as you are reading this article, you realize that it had not been structure well enough because this is the true (real time) thoughts that are going through my brains now. My brain is just very impromptu and spontaneous :p as usual to whoever that really know me.

I guess I would still be stuck with this question for a fair bit of time from now, so I should continue with my deep thoughts and exit from my blog... hehe...

虚无飘渺的爱情

不解，为何曾经如此相爱的两人说断就断
不解，为何当初爱上对方的理由成为了如今分手的原因
不解，为何彼此心中那道跨不过的横沟竟然比几千公里的距离还要远
不解，曾经一起走过风风雨雨，依赖彼此的背膀的两人，如今却彼此伤害
不解，当初承诺给对方的幸福为何就像过眼云烟一样仿佛从来没说过
不解，既然要分手为何还要相爱

爱情，就像一阵风说来就来说走就走，从来不会停留在一个地方太久
爱情，看不到也捉不到，但世人往往为了得到它付出了许多代价
爱情，就像是裹着毒药的糖果，让人明知吃了轻则"中毒"，重则"死亡"还是对它趋之若鹜
爱情，真的能说断就断吗？

如果真的深爱着彼此为何又能不爱了呢？
是不是因为并没有想象中那么爱？
还是爱自己比爱对方多，那又何苦给对方希望又把她推入痛苦的深渊呢？
当你在指责对方没有那么爱你时又是以什么样的准则来下判断的呢？
你可曾经想过既然在一起过又怎么可能不爱你呢？
或许她只是不懂的表达而以，又或许她的表达方式并不如常人一般？

你或许能以千种理由来辩解分手的原因但原因只有一个，就是不爱了...
当你嘴里说着你们是那么的不适合彼此，我在你的眼里看到了你不愿承认的理由...
只是短短数十天的分离，我却从你的眼中看到了另一个人的倒影...
或许你们真的不适合彼此，但分手却是因为你的心里已经有了另一个人...

当她深夜怀着苦涩的心情，鼓起勇气联络我，向我问明一些事，我从电话的另一端听到她强忍泪水的声音...
她哀求着我不要让你知道她打了这一通电话，她哽咽的声音让我不知该如何安慰她，只因有今天的结果，我或多或少也有份造成如今的局面...
我并不是在这里评断谁对谁错，毕竟爱情并没有对错，不爱了就是不爱了，爱上了就是爱上了...
但或许你能够对她诚实一点也对自己诚实一点，坦白你是遇到了另一段爱情故事的开端所以才为彼此的爱情写下句号...


如果世上真的有"忘情水"那该有多好啊！！！

Late night thoughts

I guess it is true when people say that distances makes the heart grown fonder. But I think that it not only apply to relationship between couple it also applies to relationship between family and friends as well. I think it is just human nature that we tend to treasure things more when they are not by our sides...

在此宣誓

我为人随和不代表我没脾气!!!

我为人处处谦让不代表我是错而你是对的!!!

我不跟你计较并不代表你可以践踏我的自尊心!!!

我会有以上的待人处事方法只因我把你当朋友!!!

但当你踩过了朋友的那条界线也就是我们的友谊结束的时候!!!

到那时我绝对会轻挥着我的手，潇洒的对你说声：“拜拜，希望我们永远不要再见了!!!"

我也绝对不会后悔做出这个决定，只因当你把我的自尊心踩在你脚下时我已心死。。。

此刻你在我心中已比路人甲还不如，只是隐形的存在，在我心中毫无分量。。。

曾经的我们

与专科的朋友在夜里通话，说起当时的我们，不免感叹我们改变真多。。。

先不论好与坏，在成长与蜕变的过程中，以往的纯真似乎也跟着消失了。。。

我们再也回不到过去的自己，当时心怀的梦想也因为长大了而渐渐遗忘。。。

纵然知道那是件多可悲的事但现实生活的压力早已把那仅存的梦埋藏在心底的最深处，遗忘在某一个角落，期待能有实现的一天。。。

我已渐渐有能力实现梦想但我再也已不是当时那个傻傻，想法幼稚但天真可爱的小女孩。。。似乎有些东西已不一样了。。。

心里总有种说不上来的感觉。。。

总觉得当时的自己虽然没有物质上的享受但心里却很满足。。。

反观现在的自己总希望从朋友那里得到些什么来填补心里的空虚，寂寞与不安。。。

多希望能找回失去的纯真但那是不可能的了。。。

因为那已不是属于我的专利了。。。

From the past to the present

I often wonder what make me who I am today, for the better or for the worst...

I realised that everything in the past shape me for who I am now, but there are a few important transition point that had a huge impact on me that create the present me.

To name a few:

I met my best friend in my secondary school days along with one good friend as well. They been through alot with me and the bond between us could not be describe by mere words. They have been by my side for better or for worst, regardless of the situation although there are ups and downs along the way. However, it is precisely the ups and downs that strengthen our bonds and leads us down the life journey and we still remain the same as it was 10 years ago. When I looked back, i couldn't imagine how my life would be without them.

My poly days could be describe as a disaster, outcast, boycott, isolated would be the right word to describe my status in the school. Just when I thought that I have found a good friend there, I got backstab by her (or maybe that is just how I see it), I started to lost hope in friendship and along the way a part of me was lost forever as well.

I was lucky thou, in my first full time job, I met another important person who would shape alot of my idealogy in life and society. I would never be the same person I am today without her. She taught me alot of stuff with regard to my job and most importantly how to survive out there in the world. She might be nagging, angry and pull a black face at me but I realised that it is because she cares about me.

Throughout my life till now, I realised that as people grow, they tend to care less and lesser, simply because trust and bonding between people had changed, we could no longer be as simple as we are in the past. Reality, desire, lust, greed and alot of inner emotions had forced us to become more selfish and self centered. All the actions that we have done is simply to achieve our final goal and in the process it might mean making use of each other, putting other people down. But what she had done for me could not be describe by words, she taught me to grow up and look at the world from other views. She taught me the ways to protect myself when I am out there in the cruel and judgemental world. Maybe it might not be sufficient for me since I still feel hurt by the reality sometimes but she is the one that prepare me mentally. I might have fallen down but what she taught me encourage me to stand up again to face the world and given me the courage to move on.

The more recent person that I think have changed me for who I am now is a friend of a friend. All the time that I chat with him, I would always think to myself: "That is something that has never ever cross my mind." Looking back for the past 2 months that I have spend with him, I realised that his words regardless of good or bad give me another opportunity to examine the way that I want to live my life. His words often enlighten me in a way that I did not expect, it often set me into thinking more and more about life, about of alot of other stuff as well. He also help me made up a decision that I think would changed my life forever. Maybe it is fate or destiny, that problem had troubled me for months, I have seek numerous advice from alot of my friends but none could push me to make up my mind as he did. All I could say is that for better or for worst, no matter where my decision leads me to, I would have no regret making this decision for I have live the life that my heart desire.

I am grateful up till now to be able to meet all these people in my life, if there is really a unknown force that push these people to meet me, I would give a million thanks to whoever or whatever that is behind it. I can't write it out in words to stress the importance and significance that these people had in my life. Don't be upset too my friends if I did not mention you in these entry as all of you matter as much to me as the people before.

I love all of you my friends and do take care so that it would come one day where we could sit down and chat and simply being our true self.

海绵芒果慕司蛋糕

我已经慢慢的从我对他的眷念中走出来。但直到了今天我才发现，我就像海绵蛋糕而他就像芒果慕司，吃起来才发现是那么的不协调。

那不协调感来自于我们对事情有截然不同的看法，想法与做法。就像网上有千百种海绵芒果慕司蛋糕的食谱，各花入各眼一样，并不是所有的食谱都是自己喜欢的，也不是所有的海绵蛋糕食谱就能与任何芒果慕司配搭的。。。

简单的道理往往都是最难领悟的。。。

缘分

缘分缘分，既然有缘遇见了又为何不能。。。

有缘无分只是徒增世上伤心的人罢了。。。

真是天意弄人啊！！！

Summary of 2009

As 2009 came to an end, it is time to summarise what have been done in that year and have a proper closure to it. With the start of a brand new day in 2010, I can't help but hope that this would be a smooth and good year for me.

My 2009 life chapter had ended with a first class honours, graduation=jobless, closure of my love life (no one in my life yet), clueless about how I want my life to be etc...

However, a new chapter has begun for my 2010 life chapter as well, I am no longer bother with my love life even though I am still searching for one but I believe that what is mean to be will be. I have moved on to shift my focus more on finding a job and keeping one if I find it. This would be the year that I wanted to be more true to myself and care less about what other people think of me. I will like to start everything afresh from today onwards, moving closer to my goals step by step, I know that the path would not be smooth going but I shall be determined and perseverance towards my goals.

放下

放下对于我与他是最好的结果，既然一切说开了，知道事实的我是时候把人生的重心放在别的事情了。

放下对他的眷恋，让我与他奔向不同的方向。朝着更广阔的未来努力，纵然我们只是人生路上两道平行线永远没有交集的一天但至少我俩同时存在于同一片天空下。。。

时间啊，请你对我宽容一点，让我在不需要你太多的陪伴度过这一切吧！
我知道一切总会成过往云烟但过程并不会是容易的但我坚信我会回到原来的我的一天。。。

My famous quote...

Failure or success belong to yesterday, today is the time to start afresh.

Cheers to the brilliant me who come up with the brilliant sentence.

人生新的里程碑

我纵然失败了但我能大声的对自己说：“时间能够带过一切，好与坏，喜与悲。这都是人生重要的里程碑。”

我超越了昨天的自己，在此我骄傲的向大家说：“我失败了但我的人生并没有留下遗憾与后悔，我的人生中又少了一个如果，那是一个多少人都做不到的啊！！！”

当多年过去，只怕回首时，脸上会挂着微笑，笑看当年年少轻狂时的自己，一切都是那么的微不足道啊。。。